March 21, 2004
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This story about a father and his
sons reminds us that the first lessons we learn about how to be in relationship
with others received in our families. Whether we are born into them, are adopted
into them, or marry into them, we learn about kindness and cruelty; honesty and
dishonesty; success and failure; trust and doubt; cooperation and competition,
unconditional love and uncontrollable anger in our families. Healthy families, with some
exceptions teach us healthy attitudes. Unhealthy families where there are no
boundaries, no sense of safety, no expressions of love, no positive feedback,
adults acting like children, and children taking on the role of care-taking
adults, can lead to some unhealthy attitudes about life. Families are where we
learn about reconciliation and redemption. The story of the Prodigal Son, this
family drama of a father and his two boys is about what it means to know
reconciliation and redemption. Jesus told the story to the Pharisees and the
other religious leaders of the day who were so committed to maintaining
religious purity that they did not want to receive into their community of faith
anyone they believed to be undeserving of God’s attention. They had made it
known that they did not approve of Jesus eating or dealing in any way loving way
with tax collectors and sinners. But Jesus is about reconciliation and
redemption. He is about bringing us back into balance with God and with each
other. Whenever we are out of relationship and far away, it is Jesus who reminds
us that God’s love is like this father’s love. It is so strong that it has
the power to say a word that will reconcile and redeem us from the trouble and
bitterness that can overwhelm us. To make his point about
reconciliation and redemption, Jesus tells a story about a man who had two sons.
The older son stayed home and did all that his father asked of him. The younger
son had his own ideas about his father and family and throws everything into
turmoil when he asks for his share of the inheritance while his father yet lives
and announces his intention to leave home. Unlike our American culture, in first
century Palestine, male children remained at home. And when they married, their
joined his parents household. Now
the father could have given his children their inheritance any time he chose,
though it was the custom to leave an inheritance after death. But asking for his
inheritance while his father was still alive was incredibly disrespectful of his
father and of his family. He assumes
that it was his right to determine when the inheritance would be given; He treats
his father as if he were already dead; By planning
to move away, he ignores his obligation to his parents in their old age; and He breaks
the family relationship by leaving. His conduct was shameful in that
culture. A father would feel ashamed to have raised such a son. Neighbors would
raise their eyebrows and thank God not to have such sons themselves (www.lectionary.org/Luke15.1-3;11-32
p.3). The truth is “the younger son is
alive and well today. We all want more freedom. We want to do what we want to do
when we want to do it. We chafe at accountability. We resent supervision. We
imagine that we could make it big if only we had some start up cash. If only I
could get away from home…if only I had a new car…if only I could get out
from under the thumb of my employer…if only I didn’t have the responsibility
of a family…if only I could refinance these loans…if only” (lectionary.org,
p.4). We can imagine the disappointment and
the broken heart of the father as he watches his son pack his bags and leave
even as we know this young son has some things to learn. He is out there in a
far country, two states away, enjoying his freedom, not counting what his
freedom has cost his family. But then, the economy turned sour, the money ran
out, food became scarce. He had to get a job and the only work available was an
affront to his heritage. He went to work on a pig farm, knowing that faithful
Jews avoided any contact with pigs, and here he was feeding them, touching them,
and cleaning up after them. Imagine the worst job you have ever had. His was
worse than that. This young son was resigned to this
awful life, until the moment Luke says he came to himself. There is that moment
when we look in the mirror and do not like who is looking back. There are
situations so bad that when we come to realize that God means more for us than
the condition we are in, and we know that we have to do something.
If you have ever been down in an spiritual pit and after a time you were
able to make your way out, you can relate to this young man when he says, “I
don’t have to live like this. God made me for more, working in a pigpen is not
my purpose. My purpose is to go back to my father’s house”. When we are in a
bad circumstance and staying where we are is not the only option, it helps to
have a place to go. The younger son decides to go home. He left the pig farm to seek
forgiveness, he had forfeited his right to be a son, he will ask for a job as a
hired servant. Reconciliation begins when the one who left home in a huff makes
up his mind to return with humility. Redemption begins with his father
standing at the gate, looking down a long road. The father who had endured the
heartbreak of seeing his youngest son go can hardly believe his eyes. There is
his son, the one who has left is making his way back home!
When he sees him, he forgets that father’s did not run to greet their
wayward sons. But he forgot all dignity and decorum as he ran to greet his son.
His heart racing, tears flowing, after all those weeks of looking down the road,
just in case, he can rejoice that his son is home. The son confesses and asks for a job
as a hired hand. The father does not offer a word of forgiveness and he does not
offer him a job. Instead, he offers acts of forgiveness. He calls for a robe,
shoes, and a ring, clothes not for a servant, but for a son. He orders a feast
with a special grain fed calf as the main course. He does not let his son sneak
into the house unnoticed, but he declares a restored relationship. He calls the
neighbors to celebrate with him because THIS SON OF MINE was far away, out of
contact with us, out of relationship with us, he was broken and separated. He
was dead, now he is alive. It’s party time. This is the story of a man who had
two sons, and the other, older son, the one who never disrespected his father is
in need of reconciliation too. When he sees a party going on in the house and
asks what’s up, he is incensed by the reply. “Your brother is back and your
father invited all the neighbors to celebrate with him. Everybody is eating good
food, listening to good music, dancing and singing, and having a great time. And
by the way, since the only clothes your brother had with him were the dirty
raggedy clothes he was wearing when he came back, your father had us go to your
room, get one of your robes, a pair of your shoes, and a ring from your jewelry
box. Come on in to the party! He is not reconciled to being taken
for granted, and he is not ready to forgive. His anger and resentment are
blocking his view of what he does have. He is close to the joy but will not
allow himself to feel happy. Fred Craddock says the real problem
with the older brother was the party. “It was the music and the dancing that
offended the older son. Of course, let the younger son return home. Judaism and
Christianity have clear provisions for the restoration of the penitent returnee,
but where does it say that such provisions include a banquet with music and
dancing? Yes, let the prodigal return, but to bread and water, not fatted calf;
in sackcloth, not a new robe; wearing ashes, not a new ring; in tears, not in
merriment; kneeling, not dancing” (Interpretation series. Luke.
Fred Craddock. Louisville. John Knox Press, 1990, p.188). The older brother is not ready for
any kind of reconciliation. All he can do is feel anger and resentment. He
remembers that he had never declared his father dead, he had not claimed his
inheritance early and then squandered it. He remembers that he has assumed twice the work and
responsibility in his brother’s absence. Surely some part of us understands
his reaction. “He does not run to meet his
brother or even agree with his father’s generosity. Instead this ‘loyal’
son gives voice to the complaint of all ‘good’ children everywhere. He has
worked, not as a hired hand, but as a slave. Never has he received even a goat
for celebrating with his friends. But the ‘bad’ child has been rewarded
simply for coming home, when no other option was left to him anyway” (Texts
for Preaching – Year C. Louisville. Westminster/John Knox Press, 1994,
p.227). The older brother is spiritually in a
distant land without ever leaving home. Even if he doesn’t know his need for
reconciliation – his father does, so the father who waited at the gate for one
son goes out to meet the other son, and he listens as he complains. He is so
overcome with bitterness that he cannot honor the relationship he has with his
father or his brother so when he does talk to his father, he refers to his
younger brother as THIS SON OF YOURS. This father of two sons does not want
to lose either of them and he reminds both sons that they are all related to
each other. He says to the older son, “You’ve always been here and all I
have is yours, it always has been and it always will be. But I want you to
understand, Son, there was no other choice, we had we had to celebrate because
our family is restored, we are back in balance, my youngest son, THIS BROTHER OF
YOURS, was dead and is now alive. Today in the shadow of the cross,
redemption and restoration occur as both sons find safety at home. We are
reconciled, redeemed, restored to harmony as we find our way home to ministry,
to renewal, to a greater relationship with God, no matter who we relate to in
this story. Who are you in this family drama? I
believe that some part of us identifies with the characters here. We may be the Pharisees and scribes
when we feel like it is up to us to decide who is worthy of God’s love, it
isn’t. I think all we need to do when we are tempted to think it is, is to ask
ourselves where we would be if people decided our worthiness, would we measure
up? Thank God it is not up to us. We may be the younger son when we
come to recognize the sorry things we have done, and then ask and receive
forgiveness and a restored place at the family table. It may be that we are the older son
who is steady, who feels unappreciated, who hears and realizes a sense of
affirmation when we have felt neglected. We are redeemed to see that if we are
faithful to the one in whose name we are baptized, and to the God who sent him
to us, it is OK, our place has always been secure, we just needed to let go of
our trained relationships with those who are as brothers and sisters to us.
We may even be the father who
declares his love for both of his sons, and is able to offer both of them the
reconciliation they need. We can become agents of reconciliation, the bearers of
harmony, the mediators, the ones with perspective enough, and vision enough to
see and respond to the needs of the ones who stay close by and the ones who
leave us for a while. It is as we act as agents of God’s reconciling agents in the world that new and reconciled relationships will emerge. The old attitudes of who is worthy of love and who is not will have passed away. The new will come because God through Jesus Christ makes all things new. We can replace hurts with new relationships, resentments with affirmations, from what seems impossible, to what is possible. Then when we are reconciled to God,
and when we become God’s reconcilers in the world, can know that the Christ
who loved us, died for us, was raised for us, loves us still. We can know that
in the name of God he will wait for us and will look for us. He will bring us to
a place of true reconciliation and redemption. God has promised and the promises
of God can be trusted. May we all know the reconciling and redeeming love of
Christ Jesus in our lives today. Thanks be to God. Amen. Dr.
LaTaunya M. Bynum |
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Broad
Street Christian Church
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